I’ll Tell You About the Swarm

“You kids think you know stuff? Fresh out of boot camp stinking of perfume! Thinking you’re gonna teach that ravenous swarm a thing or two about your big guns from over the water, built in the land of free? You’re gonna be saviours of the whole fucking race? Makes me laugh. I remember when I was just like you. Cocky and full of spunk and vinegar just chomping at the bit to get my bit of the action watched the shitty vids back on the farm along with all the other boys in my squad. Yeah gonna win the fucking war, home by Christmas, get to dip the wick in Lil Miss Dolly again! You kids… Let me tell you about the swarm.”

“The squad was deployed to the sixth section on the day of the big push, all the old boys looking like grim reapers or junkies or both, pissed and drugged to the nines, nothing left in their eyes, nothing left to say as they mounted their battle striders or jumped into their power armour. Funny that massive war machines and heavy metal in a sea of fucking tents with nothing but a pit to shit in, brought a cardboard box yet? You’ll be wanting one soon enough. What, can you see a fucking porta potty anywhere? Fucking kids.”

“Well me and mine jump in our machines, big beasts, sure not quite as shinny as your new coffins but we knew we were the superior force, we’d been trained, we’d seen it all, this was gonna be a fucking cakewalk. Makes me laugh even now, no wonder those old-timers just glared at us and whispered to each other or laughed in our faces, fancy clean uniforms, brand new coffins. Still all cocky like, we power up, do the checks, full of spunk and ready to fuck, combats gotta be better than sex? God if you ever reach that point against the swarm I dread the poor cunt you fuck. That ain’t funny you little shit.”

“We get to our post, the vibrations from the big guns reverberating through the coffin, why we call em coffins? Use your fucking noggin cunts. Slowly though that roaring from the big guns can be heard, the vibrations become a rattling inside the box, sweat on my forehead, gonna get it done nows lads we are, is what I’m thinking, the lads chatting on the comms channel like it’s the last day of term. Then we can see the blasts, fire and huge chunks of the Earth just flying through the sky, damn that was a sight, the fucking sun blocked out from it all, course we couldn’t see the swarm, the rolling barrage hid all that shit.”

“I saw the old-timers ducking down, their coffins looking like holy men repenting their sins whilst me and my bunch of cunts were all just stood there gungho as fuck. Big fucking bollocks, till James got his fucking coffin ripped in half just in front of me, saw his fucking guts spray top half of him with the top half of his walking coffin spinning through the fucking air, tell you what bitches, if I could, of ate the fucking dirt that second I would of. Then there it was, the fucking Swarm.”

“When it came to us, the small quick ones, the massive lumbering cunts with the legs of a power suit out of it tooth filled face hole. screams over the comm system, shit like fuck fuck it’s chewing me the big swinging dicks crying for mummy, the huge geezers who knocked you on the head at boot camp begging for it to stop as some cunting monster chewed its way through their guts. There was a roar, and I hadn’t even realised I’d started shooting, I didn’t realise a lot, the warmth in my pants, covered in shit and piss as the mind wrenching terror gripped me, I couldn’t tell you how I survived, just stumbling out of my shit and vomit-covered coffin and collapsing on the floor more fucking vomit and spit, tears and dioria. The old guys helped me up and took me to the shower to clean up and sob, I ain’t never sobbed like that before, but I’ll likely sob like that again curled up in a ball in my bunk remembering the fucking swarm and that first battle when the front line was over four hundred miles from here, in the wrong direction. So yeah kids, that’s the Swarm. Welcome to the fucking war.”